| Step One |
Firstly, spend ten years working in an office job. Whether you enjoy the job or not is entirely optional, the main thing is to choose a multinational. The reason for this is that they are prone to 'overseas takeovers' which of course is great for achieving your ultimate goal.....redundancy! |
| Step Two |
Now that your rather tidy redundancy package is in the bank.....it's time to go shopping. I suggest purchasing old analog recording equipment, then moving into a large house with wooden floors, high ceilings, tolerant housemates and a bottle shop nearby. Once you have all the equipment set up, burn all instruction manuals and set about making all your mistakes recording your own solo album. |
| Step Three |
OK, you are getting some pretty decent sounds, it's time to start finding other artists to record and release. Now, this is important.....choose only artists that you actually like! Once the roster has been confirmed, it's time to set yourself an impossible deadline and launch the label with three simultaneous releases. |
| Step Four |
Declare war on sleep! In between finishing off recording, mixing, mastering, artwork, arranging a venue for the launch, advertising, manufacturing the CD's, invitations and interviews.....it's very important that you remember to hire a tuxedo for the night of launch, for no other reason that if it all fails.....at least you'll look decent! |
| Step Five |
Success! Well, now that you have launched your label, you suddenly find that your hard earned redundancy money has all gone. Not to worry, it will only take four or five years to actually make any money. Still, a good project will always attract good people, and if you're sincere, people such as graphic designers etc will usually work for a reduced fee and generally have flexible payment terms. The main thing is to never return to full time work! |
| Step Six |
Continue recording (you should be getting pretty good at this by now) and releasing only stuff that you like. If there's one thing that tends to be missing more and more in this bloody industry.....it's credibility! Stick to your guns and slowly but surely your label will become known in Australia and overseas as one renowned for releasing music which is heartfelt, diverse and original. |
| ... |
And when you've completed steps one through six - for God's sake, get some sleep! |
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